that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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