Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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