if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
