So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize