Screwed.edu
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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