Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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