just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
