i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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