I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
