I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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