He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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