Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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