My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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