so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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