I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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