The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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