Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
