Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
