do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize