After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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