So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
