Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize