it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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