Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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