The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
