he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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