So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
