i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
