i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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