Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
