the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
