walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
