OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
