I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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