My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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