Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
