My cat gives me a boner
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
