is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
