bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize