idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
