She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
