I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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