Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize