If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
