I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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