I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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