You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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