my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
