Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize