I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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