Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize