Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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