youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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