Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize