youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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