At least make sure they are 18
Why
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize