Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
