We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
her vagine was all disorganized.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
