Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
