Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
