I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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