i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i can't believe i had my finger in that
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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