I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
