I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
