then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
