is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
