I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize